He makes it clear that He is very disappointed in me, and i want to find a rock to crawl under. This day could very well be the most horrible day i've ever had. i think that now he will release me for sure. i try hard not to give in to my misery. Behind the few tears falling is a deluge of sobbing waiting and wanting to be released. He commands me to go and remove my clothing and get my collar. i go into the bedroom, strip, and bring the collar back, kneel and offer it in my upturned hands as usual. instead of Him putting the collar on me as usual, He tells me to do it myself. This in and of itself is a painful punishment, and more tears fall. He binds my hands behind my back. He pulls the recliner away from the corner of the room and faces it toward the corner, and tells me to stand there, in the corner, facing him. He sits in the recliner and tells me that i am to stand in the corner and think about why i feel i couldn't meet Him for lunch, and why i felt i had lost Him to another. Mami ki neend khul gayi. Main sophe ke niche chup gayaMami: sonu kya hua, beta pani piyega?Mami sonu ko leke kitchen chali gayi. Tab meri jaan me jaan aayi. Phir me waha se chala gaya.Dopahar ko hum tv dekhne ki liye hall me baithe the. Tabhi sonu rone lagi.Mami: ruko beta, maa tujhe doodh pilayegi.Main: mujhe bhi bhook lagi hai.Mami: abhi khana lagati hoo.Main: nahi, mujhe bhi doodh pina hai.Mami: kya? Ye kya bol raha hai?Main: bas ek glass hi chahiye, garam mat karo..Ye sunte hi mami hasne lagi.Main: aapko ky laga?Mami meri taraf muskurake kitchen me chali gayi. Ab main jaan bujh kar mami ke sath flirting aur double meaning baate kar ta tha. Ek hafte me hum achche dost ban gaye. Ab hum din bhar gappe ladhate the.Ek din dopahar ko main sonu se khelne ke liye mami ki bedroom me jaa raha tha. Maine door ke gap se andar dekha to mami abhi nahake bahar ayi thi. Mami ke jism se pani ki bunde tapak rahi thi. Woh khali ek towel me thi. Main jaan bujh kar darwaja push karke andar chala.
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